The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
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