that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
