Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
