i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
