Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
