im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Randomize
