I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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