no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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