I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
