What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
