Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
