is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
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