i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
