So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize