There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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