the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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