Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
