So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Randomize
