What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
