i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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