highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
How does one acquire holy water?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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