I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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