WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
