Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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