This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
