people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
