i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Randomize
