May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
