? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
