If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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