no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
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