I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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