do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
