So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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