We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
