I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
she pinky promised me she was 18
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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