Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
