Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
