i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Quick, to the slutcave!
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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