He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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