almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
