genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
