i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
