erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
