i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I think people are normalizing furries
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
