I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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