Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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