I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
