Having a random hookup so left but love u
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
