When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
