I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
