Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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