thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
